One year ago my friend and mentor took his life. It changed a lot of things around me. I wrote about it last year, but could never bring myself to finish the post. As the anniversary rolls around this year, I find myself reflecting on that post and wanting to finish it.
Yesterday in a meeting, we talked about grief and the one year mark. Our Pastor shared how people mistakenly think a grieving person should be over the loss and moving on in a year. He shared how it’s so easy to be frustrated when you look at how far you still have to go in order to be through the grief. It is a long journey. But he also suggested that you take a moment to look at how far you’ve already come.
This chapter isn’t finished. My grief is not over. But I know that I have come a long way, and God has been by my side for every step. In this post, I can see how far I’ve come already. And I feel it’s time to post it.
Last month my dear friend took his own life. I cannot tell you how heart-broken I am. Scotte was not only my friend, he was my boss, my encourager, my source of inspiration. I will miss his creativity and his cheesy jokes. I’ll even miss cleaning up his messes and those stinking coffee cups he left everywhere.
Scotte was a lot of things for a lot of people. He was unlike any person I’ve ever known. To me, his greatest talent was encouraging others. He was so good at making you feel special and included, which made working for him a dream. I took my job at Kidnect because of Scotte’s mission and vision and stayed working there when I wanted to leave. Being on Scotte’s team has always been special to me. I know I’m not the only one that feels that way.
Scotte encouraged me to do many things I was uncomfortable with. I went on a middle school mission trip once (middle schoolers terrify me). I went, just because he needed the help and he asked me to. When I thought I wanted to be a childcare director, he gently turned me in another direction. He saw other talents in me that would be wasted in that position. Instead, he gave me the freedom to create. Even when he thought my ideas were crazy, he let me give it a try. If I was stuck on something, Scotte’s office was the first place I’d go. He was the one who encouraged me to start this blog, encouraged me to dream big, to be better.
And that’s as far as I got. I could never finish the post. It still feels unfinished. But I think I will feel that way for a long time, maybe forever. Scotte was a dear friend and a super person. I think about him everyday.
A lot has changed in this past year. I still mourn. It looks different than a year ago. I’ve reflected a lot on Scotte’s greatest qualities this last year and the one I miss most was his ability to encourage others. To make you feel like you were special. I’m trying really hard to carry that on for the people around me. I pray that God can help me to be a mentor and a good friend to those around me. Especially those that miss it like I do.
Miss you everyday Scotte.